Ever had the feeling you want to do something fresh?

Something so new, but second nature to you that you can do naturally without being badgered or trained.

Something so new that puts you out of your element, but makes you feel completely at home as you do it.

Something that does’t require you to rack your brain in pain, unsure if you’ll be shamed or ashamed.

The need to drag yourself out of your daily regiment or monotony begins overwhelming you.

Waking up to the same day as yesterday depressing you?

Kay did.

Kay was normal like everyone else. She didn’t consider herself so, but her daily checklist showed the contrary:

  1. Job
  2. Moved out of her parent’s house
  3. Rent above her paycheck
  4.  Daily routine (8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Work day)
  5. No social life to speak off
  6. Will wake up at 30 and begin to panic (Steadily heading there)

In all this she wondered. Where was the extraordinary Kay? The one she could see making a difference in peoples lives. As a girl, she had imagined people chanting her name. Where were the chants? She could no longer hear them echoing in her head. Well, maybe she did sometimes, but for different reasons:

  1. Kay! Fix the printer (Her Boss)
  2. Kay! When are you coming home (Her Mom)
  3. Kay! I hope your rent will be early this time (Her Landlord)
  4. Kay! I can’t find Mike. You have to help me find him (Her Best Friend- Married To ‘Mike The Drunk’)

No one was calling her for all the reasons she really wanted them to. She was always responsible for everyone else and had no time or capacity to simply think about herself. She wished she had the strength to drop everything. She wished her “nurture” wasn’t always combating her “nature”. She had been brought up a tad bit of a pessimist, with a drizzle of sadism and a whole lot of realism. Realism in the sense that she couldn’t fathom the idea that dreams actually came true. She didn’t have the strength to let go of the reigns and spiral into the oblivion that was ‘following her dreams’.

She needed to let go but couldn’t without a safety net. So she continued to live according to expectation. Did she need someone to save her? Because saving herself required too much risk. The pessimist within did a risk assessment analysis and it just did not make sense. However, her nature was clawing away at her day and night. It always had, but recently it was voracious. It needed to be ‘Unleashed’………(TO BE CONTINUED)


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